These were sent to me by my Uncle. Check these out!
* Can you cry under water?
*How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
*Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
*Where's that extra penny going to?
*Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
*Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
*What disease did cured ham actually have?
*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
*Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
*If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
*Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
*Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
*Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
*Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
*Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?
*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
*Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
*If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
*If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
*Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
*Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Well.....what did y'all think?