*I'VE GOT A STORY TO TELL pt.1
WHEN DISASTER STRIKES......ME!
So, I decided to take a chance with my piece of $#%& Dodge, and go back to San Diego to my God Son's b-day party. Although I knew my car was in the midst of dying, I still HAD TO GO! That's my God Son's party for crying out loud. Anyway, I hit the road, and made it there in two stinkin' hours....traffic ain't no joke. The party goes well, and he gets more toys than he'll ever need. Everybody's happy, and so the party goes on. All the adults are playing Playstation, watching football, and crowding the propane bar-b-que grill waiting for the next batch of turkey burgers and hot dogs to hit the serving tray.
After we all fill our belly's, I decide to get my car and move it closer to my boys house so I can bring my travel bag inside. My car didn't start...but it was late, so I just said "skip it, I'll get a jump in the morning". So we go inside and turn to UFC-62 to watch The Iceman Chuck Liddell take it to Babba-loo Sobral one more time. Everybody's screaming and cheering as if we were there. They night was great....just as good as the day was....then sleep.
Morning comes, and worried about my bucket, I go down the hill to load my bag, and try to start the car again. Click, click, click.....just like before. I go back inside, and get my main man Jackson to give me a jump. The car starts, and we're all happy. See, we were supposed to go to Sea World with our other best friend Craig Mack and his wife and baby, but sadly, I couldn't go. I had to make sure I could get home as fast as possible to get another battery and make sure nothing else was wrong with my POS, and me leaving at 10a was the best plan to avoid traffic. Truth be told, this is California, and there is ALWAYS traffic!
I hit the road, and my car is acting a little funny, but then again, it's a Dodge so I'm used to it. About 5 minutes into my ride home, the radio goes black.......
and I'm like what the hell? I decide to ignor it, and keep rolling. Two minutes later, the radio lights up again.
Ok, I'm starting to get a little worried here, but I'm not crazy enough to stop. 'Stay on course, and get my butt home' is all I'm thinking. Then, the car jerks, and my dash board lights up like a Christmas Tree! What the $#%! Now, I've got my finger on the panic button. 'Aw man, I've gotta get home'!
I'm on the freeway driving like a bat out of hell! Mario Andretti has NOTHING on me!!! My dash is lit up, my car is jerking, and I refuse to use any electric accessories on the car in order to preserve battery life. At this time, my car is running off the alternator alone...no battery. I'm checking my dash like every 10-seconds, (and saying every prayer known to man) it's getting hot outside, and the air in the car is thick (or maybe I'm just panicing), and I don't want to use the AC. I get tired of rolling in thick dry heat, so I roll the windows down, but with the weak power, or lack there of, of the Mighty Dodge, the car is dragging. I can't take a chance with the weak battery and drag on the car, so up goes the windows.
My family knows, I have allergies. It's hot, thick, the car is jerking (a little), the dash is lit up, and now...here comes the sneezing. Man, what a nightmare! It's funny, but it's not....ya' know. Anyway, I continue on course, and to add insult to injury, I look in my rearview mirror, and here comes the Highway Patrol!! You've got to be kidding me! Talk about having my finger on the panic button. I can't afford to be pulled over, cause if I stop, the car stops. I try to slow down a little without being too obvious. It works, and he blows right past me!
Somebody was looking out for me. I was able to snap a pic though...cause your boy has skills.
Here we are, 30-minutes into my hellish ride home, and all is going somewhat well. Wait, what's this....clusters!
You know, the bunch of people on the fwy who believe that there's safety in numbers. There is about 15-20 cars, with nothing but wide open highway infront of them, and everyone refuses to leave the pack. I'm swerving from left to right trying to make my way through, and cursing worse than sailors at the nudie bar. I'm trying to get through, but I can't slow down cause I don't want the car to stop. I'm tailgaiting like Raiders-fans, and causing bad drivers to panic worse than I am. When I get by some of the bad drivers, all I see is women, and some "men" (if you want to call them that) driving slow as hell, and sitting so close to the steering wheel that if the air bag deployed, it would knock their nipples off :-)
Well, needless to say, your boy made it home thankfully, and now, all I have to do is get a ride to Walmart, pick up a new battery, and get my hands a little greasy so I can make it through another dreadfull week of work. The next time I drag my @$% back to San Diego, you better believe you boy's gonna either have a newer car, or a rental....and with that being said, as always, WHO HAS AN ANSWER FOR THE QUESTION MAN?
So, I decided to take a chance with my piece of $#%& Dodge, and go back to San Diego to my God Son's b-day party. Although I knew my car was in the midst of dying, I still HAD TO GO! That's my God Son's party for crying out loud. Anyway, I hit the road, and made it there in two stinkin' hours....traffic ain't no joke. The party goes well, and he gets more toys than he'll ever need. Everybody's happy, and so the party goes on. All the adults are playing Playstation, watching football, and crowding the propane bar-b-que grill waiting for the next batch of turkey burgers and hot dogs to hit the serving tray.
After we all fill our belly's, I decide to get my car and move it closer to my boys house so I can bring my travel bag inside. My car didn't start...but it was late, so I just said "skip it, I'll get a jump in the morning". So we go inside and turn to UFC-62 to watch The Iceman Chuck Liddell take it to Babba-loo Sobral one more time. Everybody's screaming and cheering as if we were there. They night was great....just as good as the day was....then sleep.
Morning comes, and worried about my bucket, I go down the hill to load my bag, and try to start the car again. Click, click, click.....just like before. I go back inside, and get my main man Jackson to give me a jump. The car starts, and we're all happy. See, we were supposed to go to Sea World with our other best friend Craig Mack and his wife and baby, but sadly, I couldn't go. I had to make sure I could get home as fast as possible to get another battery and make sure nothing else was wrong with my POS, and me leaving at 10a was the best plan to avoid traffic. Truth be told, this is California, and there is ALWAYS traffic!
I hit the road, and my car is acting a little funny, but then again, it's a Dodge so I'm used to it. About 5 minutes into my ride home, the radio goes black.......
and I'm like what the hell? I decide to ignor it, and keep rolling. Two minutes later, the radio lights up again.
Ok, I'm starting to get a little worried here, but I'm not crazy enough to stop. 'Stay on course, and get my butt home' is all I'm thinking. Then, the car jerks, and my dash board lights up like a Christmas Tree! What the $#%! Now, I've got my finger on the panic button. 'Aw man, I've gotta get home'!
I'm on the freeway driving like a bat out of hell! Mario Andretti has NOTHING on me!!! My dash is lit up, my car is jerking, and I refuse to use any electric accessories on the car in order to preserve battery life. At this time, my car is running off the alternator alone...no battery. I'm checking my dash like every 10-seconds, (and saying every prayer known to man) it's getting hot outside, and the air in the car is thick (or maybe I'm just panicing), and I don't want to use the AC. I get tired of rolling in thick dry heat, so I roll the windows down, but with the weak power, or lack there of, of the Mighty Dodge, the car is dragging. I can't take a chance with the weak battery and drag on the car, so up goes the windows.
My family knows, I have allergies. It's hot, thick, the car is jerking (a little), the dash is lit up, and now...here comes the sneezing. Man, what a nightmare! It's funny, but it's not....ya' know. Anyway, I continue on course, and to add insult to injury, I look in my rearview mirror, and here comes the Highway Patrol!! You've got to be kidding me! Talk about having my finger on the panic button. I can't afford to be pulled over, cause if I stop, the car stops. I try to slow down a little without being too obvious. It works, and he blows right past me!
Somebody was looking out for me. I was able to snap a pic though...cause your boy has skills.
Here we are, 30-minutes into my hellish ride home, and all is going somewhat well. Wait, what's this....clusters!
You know, the bunch of people on the fwy who believe that there's safety in numbers. There is about 15-20 cars, with nothing but wide open highway infront of them, and everyone refuses to leave the pack. I'm swerving from left to right trying to make my way through, and cursing worse than sailors at the nudie bar. I'm trying to get through, but I can't slow down cause I don't want the car to stop. I'm tailgaiting like Raiders-fans, and causing bad drivers to panic worse than I am. When I get by some of the bad drivers, all I see is women, and some "men" (if you want to call them that) driving slow as hell, and sitting so close to the steering wheel that if the air bag deployed, it would knock their nipples off :-)
Well, needless to say, your boy made it home thankfully, and now, all I have to do is get a ride to Walmart, pick up a new battery, and get my hands a little greasy so I can make it through another dreadfull week of work. The next time I drag my @$% back to San Diego, you better believe you boy's gonna either have a newer car, or a rental....and with that being said, as always, WHO HAS AN ANSWER FOR THE QUESTION MAN?
posted by Fashion-Never-Dies at 11:12 AM
5 Comments:
Yo man, you need to get yourself a new ride... do it now before the POS breaks down and then you're stuck not being able to trade it in because it's crap.... and besides we're getting used to you coming down to SD to visit, Vegas in 3 weeks which you need to go to... and what's up with all "women" drivers in the "cluster". I'm prob a better driver than you! HA !
C'mon baby momma...didn't you read the line...Mario Andretti has NOTHING on me. I was moving!!!
Alright man, can you take better care of your car? Mike said that you have not changed that battery since you got the stinkin' car... maybe if you would have looked under the hood every once in awhile you'd see the corrosion.... HA HA.... and yes batteries do did with no warning! It happened to me and Mike in Vegas the day we left when we got married!
I was under the impression that the alternator charges the battery....I do know something about cars;-). Ultimately, the Mighty Dodge is a POS.
The family reunion is not gonna be a problem at all! The SD and LV trips are just the tip of the iceberg!
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