*UPDATED EVERY WEEK!*

Sunday, September 24, 2006

VEGAS BABY!...Oh, what a Night!!

SCENE....

Friday night....

Las Vegas, NV....

12-midnight....

Club 'Taboo' in the MGM GRAND (the one that ALWAYS pays me ;-)....

Me and my family (Craig Mack, Stephanie, Renee, Tina, Shane, Jackson, Baby-Momma, and their big-baller cousin Melvin) are in the club holding it down like we owned the joint! I felt like I was in a rap video or something. The only thing that was missing was a big-booty stripper get Champagne poured all over her ;-).

We're in there chillin' in our own little baller section (thanks to baller Melvin), dancing on the table like Coyote Ugly (rock on Shane). EVERYBODY in the club is checkin' us out, tryin' to get close to see who we are, and what we're doing. The girls are watching, and the boys are hatin', but it's alright. I know how it feels to be on the outside...but never no more!

We've got our own waitress to keep the drinks flowing (but y'all know I don't drink), our own secure guards (to keep the groupies away) and our own couches and foot stools to chill Big-Willie-Style. Every time one of the crew went towards the liquor to get themselves a drink, here comes our waitress to make sure they didn't do anything but party, chill and get their drink on. The only problem with that was, she was good at her job, but maybe a little too good.

Now, y'all know I don't drink, so I'm sober and trying to keep a watchful eye over my family and I'm noticing the waitress making the drinks. Instead of doing a somewhat 50/50 mix, she's giving my crew a 70/30 split. 70% sauce, 30% fruit juice/mix. Maaaaaaannnn, by 2a, my crew is $&#%(*-UP!!!!! Oh my God. My main man Jackson is sleeping on the couch, trying to call God knows who on his cell phone, but all he can do is dial number 1. Baby-momma is shouting at him trying to get him up, and I'm looking around for another sober face to help me organize (with no avail) our leave.

I look towards Craig Mack and Shane, but they're still dancing on the tables. Renee and Tina is standing there with me, but the ladies are not very helpful when trying to move a 180+lb drunk grown man. Melvin is on the other side of our table looking at us, but he's just as drunk, if not worse than Jackson. Craig and Shane try to get Mel up, to pay the tab and get out of the club, but by the time we get them out, and into the Casino, they're both 'yakkin' up liquor like no tomorrow.

The club security comes up to us with trash bags to catch the vomit, and a wheel chair to help get Jackson back to our hotel (which is about a mile away....which is nothing when you're sober,but when you're carrying your drunk boy, it's like walking a marathon). He can only take us half way to our hotel because of property issues, so we have to carry Jackson the rest of the way. Boy what a nightmare!! Jackson's damn-near passed out on his feet, baby-momma's in back shouting out instructions like a drill seargant and fighting with the other local party drunks, and then there's me trying to hold Jackson, and keep baby-momma focused and out of a fight so I don't have to lay Jackson on the floor and put my fist in somebody's mouth.

We finally get to our hotel, and thank God there's a floor-type escalator (the one that you can ride through the hotel) that we can stand Jackson on and coast through to our destination. I hate to offend some of you religious types out there, but it was like we were carrying Jesus on our shoulders. Everybody in the hotel was pointing, looking and laughing with us, and sharing their familiar stories. By some minor miracle, we get Jackson to the elevator, and up to the floor where our rooms were. I don't know why, but for some reason, they ended up with the room ALL THE WAY DOWN THE DAMN HALLWAY! That hall was so long, it looked like we were in the movie Poltergeist (you know...when she's trying to run down the hallway, and it keeps getting longer and longer)!

We get my man Jackson to his bed, and all he can do is smile briefly, and pass out. Now, to check on Craig Mack, Shane and Melvin. We rush back down the elevator to get to the lobby to see where they are, and the first thing we see is Craig, Shane and Melvin on the same floor escalator-belt holding Melvin like the second....coming of Jesus. He's asleep on his feet just the same, and all I can do is laugh. How I WISH I had my camera so y'all could see what I saw. The funniest thing of all this was that Jackson and Melvin are COUSINS!!! Their both 6'+, 180lbs+ and drunk as hell! You gotta love your family, cause if we weren't there to get their backs, my boys might STILL be sleeping on the floor of the MGM in a pool of pink liquor...if you know what I mean.

Well, that's the end of my little Vegas adventure story. I hope I painted a picture good enough for y'all to see it like I did....and with that being said, now comes the cliche...."what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"....unless you're with the genius mind of Aimless Thought.

(I will be posting the club photos at With Every Blink in a day, so stay tuned!)

11 Comments:

Anonymous Baby Momma's Best Friend said...

Yes! that is friggin' awesome and I sadly regret not being there to witness the event - and y'all are welcome for the FYI on the place. I told Baby Momma it'd be dope.

12:52 PM  
Anonymous A.Roberson said...

I wish you were there to rock with us to 'baby-momma's best friend' ;-) You would have had a BALL!!!!

3:03 PM  
Blogger A.Roberson said...

Wait til you see the pics! They're coming. I'm just waiting on my boy to send them to me.

6:21 PM  
Anonymous cuzzoCHICKEN said...

that's some funny stuff!!!

6:25 PM  
Anonymous shane said...

dude, that was hillarious and i'm still crackin up! i had a blast wit all of you and can't wait to do it again. well, maybe not all that carrying.LOL late homie

11:07 PM  
Blogger A.Roberson said...

That was the best time I ever had in Vegas!!!

12:24 AM  
Anonymous Tina Marie said...

SCORE! Damn, that trip was...a trip! Oh and on our way back home, we saw the perfect party kit on the back of a car - a wheelchair and a cooler. Classic. We'll have to make sure we get two party kits for our next Vegas trip! lol...

10:34 AM  
Blogger A.Roberson said...

You are madd funny. We'll need one more thing for that party kit....a bib for the vomiting cousins ;-)

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Tina Marie said...

HA!!! Classic. I'll add that to the list... :-D

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yea, that was one hell of a night...Viva Las Vegas -CraigMack

10:59 PM  
Blogger A.Roberson said...

I can't wait to do it again. I've NEVER had so much fun. I love y'all to death.

9:11 AM  

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